When Doubts Creep In

While we are confident in our decision to homeschool for the upcoming school year and feel at peace with the "why's" of our choice, it is inevitable for doubts to creep in.  Here have been my doubts as we have travelled this journey.

• I often 'fail' at motherhood, how can I be a good mom and a good teacher at the same time?
• What if I don't like it?
• What if the girls don't like it?
• What if it makes the girls bicker more instead of less?
• What if homeschooling puts Izzy behind her peers academically?
• My kids won't turn out weird, right?

For the most part, I have been able to have peace to get past the attacks of the "what ifs?" on the doubt list.  Taking each day, week, and year as it comes allows for an open invitation for God to lead us into the best educational decision for our family.

It's the first one I still struggle with often as we approach our 'start' day for homeschooling.  I don't have pinterest worthy projects lined up.  My house is a minefield of toys and crumbs.  My children are not bathed as regularly as they should be.  I hate craft time and do not enjoy having my kids bake with me.  But, in the end, I'm a good mom.  My kids are fed, clothed, and loved.  

I love teaching.  But if I 'fail' so much at motherhood, how can I possibly be a good mom and a good teacher at the same time.  Will I be able to distinguish between the two roles?  Should there be a distinction?

As we travel this journey, I anticipate daily struggles and doubts.  Thankfully, I have the Master Teacher on my side.  God has directed our path to this moment, and will continue to do so.  No matter what doubts I have, God is greater than all of them.  If I am willing to listen, He will be faithful to put the pieces into place.  He will give confidence, skills, and ability to be successful in this journey.

Give ear, and hear my voice;

give attention, and hear my speech.

Does he who plows for sowing plow continually?

Does he continually open and harrow his ground?

When he has leveled its surface,

does he not scatter dill, sow cumin,

       and put in wheat in rows

and barley in its proper place,

and emmer as the border?

For he is rightly instructed;

his God teaches him.

-Isaiah 28:23-26

Why Homeschool? Part 4

The previous 3 parts of sharing why we have chosen homeschool for at least the next year were desired outcomes we are running towards.  We believe that with those end goals in mind, homeschool will give us the highest probability if getting there.

Part 4 is a little different because it focuses on more of something we are looking to avoid rather than attain.  We are not running out of fear, but stepping away due to concern.  While not all of the details are fully known, and some of the items I'll discuss are plausible results of decisions being made now, we have decided to be pro-active for the time being for the best of our family.

Why have we chosen homeschooling?  The increasing role of the federal government in education through Common Core State Standards.

We Believe:

• Public Schools are the responsibility of the local government, locally elected officials, and partnerships between teachers and parents to decide what and how best to teach the children of the community.
• "How" usually precedes the ability to understand "Why" especially in math at the elementary level.
• Worldview and political issues do not belong in most classroom environments (especially at the elementary level)
• Standardized Testing is inadequate, unfair, and one dimensional in its evaluation of students, teachers, and schools.

The New Common Core State Standards (CCSS):

• Were developed primarily by politicians, lobbyists, curriculum developers, and testing services.
• Were not actually developed by the States.
• Are falsely advertised as voluntary as the Federal Government as linked qualification to grant money to one's participation in CCSS.
• Decreased emphasis on mastery of skills to conceptual thinking which leads to downgraded standards but raised expectations on standardized testing.
• Focus on the "Why" rather than the "How" (example- a student should understand why 2+2= 4 before they learn that 2+2=4)
• Require 'broad' worldview that must include things like the liberal definition of marriage, climate change, and evolution but cannot include items deemed Christian in viewpoint.
• Equates public opinion articles and government papers on the same level as time proven classic literature.
• Takes away local control of education and puts it onto path for a national school system:  Federally mandated core standards ---> decreased curricula choices ---> limited approved pedagogy (how a concept is taught) ---> National Education System
• Zaps teacher creativity and freedom
• Will lead to government dependency
• May destroy ingenuity and entrepreneurial vision
• Track students preschool-grade 12 in a massive database system accessible to all government agencies with data points such as blood type, religious affiliation, dental records, voting record, detailed transportation data, behavior, diseases and health history, and home status.
• Place students early on into 'tracks' for vocational training, college prep, etc.  Dreams, desires, freedoms of children will be squashed before they can even be old enough to drive a car.
• Force hand of private institutions to change curricula despite beliefs to maintain accreditation and and align with national testing

I will be the first to admit that a lot of these details are still sketchy as CCSS has yet to see full implementation, but the patterns are in place and the expressed desire of this government administration is well known to be on the side of 'big government'.  So, we are being pro active and taking a step out of the public school system for the time being.  Perhaps these root problems will be worked out and we feel that it is once again the right choice for our family to be in the public school system.

For some great information on CCSS (and the sources for my post):
Michelle Malkin has been doing great work on researching CCSS

Common Core Math Issues

Truth in American Education

The Federal Government Stepping into Schools

CCSS Not State Led

CCSS Testing

Problems waiting to happen

Why Homeschool? Part 3

Every parent aches with the desire for their kids to reach their God-given potential.  We want to see them succeed in life, wherever it takes them.  Their talents and skills are uniquely ordained but often need to be fostered in order for them to come to full fruition.

As a trained teacher myself, I understand first hand the immense responsibility and even unfair expectation on any given teacher for them to shepherd 25 little children through a 9 month school year and have each one of them reach their fullest potential for the time.  Teachers face an uphill battle of administration, politics, learning styles, cookie cutter curriculum, hands on parents, hands off parents, behavior issues, incessant labels, IEP's, and often underpaid and appreciated as they attempt to help their class of little learners prepare for the next stage in life.

It is our belief that our children will have a higher rate of success in reaching their potential if their unique personalities, skills, talents, desires, and intrigues are fostered in an intentional environment at home.

This came about after many nights of frustrating math homework and writing assignments were done at the kitchen table.  Yearning to simply master 2+3, Izzy was paralyzed by confusing conceptualization techniques to 'help' her understand why 2+3=5.  Instead of building fluency of each writing step at a time (sentence structure, punctuation, vocabulary, spelling, details, etc) she was stifled in her creativity out of fear of what to focus on and to do it right.  We realized our first grader's potential would not be met under these conditions.  She was not designed to learn this way and it is our God given responsibility (and joy) to help her find what works best for her.

Even if just for the next year we help build confidence on her educational journey towards becoming the woman God has designed her to be, I will consider it a success.

Why Homeschool?
Part 1
Part 2

Why Homeschool? Part 2

See Part 1- Intentional Influence here.

Our children do not belong to us.  They are on loan to us from God to steward for the time He gives them to us.


My heart has been softened to the immense responsibility God has given Paul and I in managing this great gift of our girls.  While I cannot control the outcome as my children grow and mature- they do have God given free will after all- I do have the choice to make the most out of the time I have with them.

It is our desire to homeschool in order to have a higher rate of 'success' in discipling our children.  Deuteronomy 6:4-9 outlines our Biblical command for the stewardship of our children.

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (NIV)

Now, this is not a Biblical command to homeschool.  It simply declares the immense responsibility and joy parents have on the spiritual and I believe academic life of a child.  For the best chance of being the primary influence in our children's lives as exampled by this passage, we feel that the right direction (for now) is to train our children at home.

Proverbs 22:6 (KJV) says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

We believe that the Holy Spirit has prompted us to bring our family together, keep our children at home in hopes that our children will benefit eternally and that we can obey the Biblical command in the way we feel God is leading us 'for such a time as this.'

Why Homeschool? Part 1

In an earlier post I mentioned how the plethora of good options made the decision to homeschool for the 2013-2014 school year a hard one.  I'd like to explain our reasons for making this decision, but first a disclaimer.  Every family has to make their own decision of what works best for them.  Our reasons may not be other's reasons to choose homeschooling.  There are great reasons to send children to public or private schools.  We have people in our sphere of influence who advocate for a variety of school options.  I respect each family's privilege to choose the educational path that works best for them.  I'm also aware that while we are making this decision for this coming year, we may change our minds.  My goal is to share our hearts where they are at now, not predicting where they might be in 2,5,10 years.

So, why homeschool?

#1- Intentional Influence

#2- Biblical Command

#3- Reaching Potential

#4- Common Core and the Federal Government

I'll write a little post on each of these eventually, but today I'll touch on #1.

About 10-12 months ago, I felt that God was leading me to a word that would transform every facet of my life.  The word was INTENTIONAL.  Perhaps He was trying to correct my lack of household organization, teaching me to not fly by the seat of my pants so much, or to simply be more on purpose with where He has me on each day.  It has seemed that ever since that word was brought to mind, the word has creeped into other aspects.  A recent parenting book (perhaps the best I've read) called Intentional Parenting offered great insight of what it meant to avoid auto-pilot as a mom, wife, and child of God.  My husband and I planned our vacations and times away with goals in mind so that activities, choices, and decisions would help us reach our desired outcome.

When it came to our schooling decision, God began to work on my heart on how I had the responsibility as my kids mother to be the primary influence in their lives (along with Daddy!).  If you look at the sheer math, we get very little time with our school aged children.  In reality, a handful of adults I barely know along with a room of 20 peers I know even less become the primary influence in my child's life.  I was becoming tired of getting her 'leftovers'.  She would leave our home each morning with a bounce in her step at 8 am.  She would come home tired and drained at almost 4pm.  Then, there was the hour or so of homework each night that we would have to try to do together (uphill battle for a 6 year old who just wanted to play with her sister!).  By 8 pm she was back in bed.  Weekends were helpful, but often she would still be playing 'catch up' from the week.  I want to enjoy my child at her best, not feel discouraged by dealing with her worst.  I know if I had a friend who only saw me from 4-6pm everyday they would think I'm pretty tired, cranky, and lack clean shirts!  It would be a very one dimensional view of who I was. 

In the end, Paul and I want to be the primary influence in our children's life.  We want to enjoy our kids at their best.  We want to discover who they are and who God may be forming them to be.  We don't want a school system dictating so many aspects of our life.  We want to be intentional and we feel that in order to have the highest probability for success, we should educate our children at home.

"Whether he is a mystery or more familiar, our job is to become a student- to seek to understand the work that God began and is faithfully completing in the lives of our children. Our job is to steward that, not change it." p. 18 of Intentional Parenting