Response to Mr. L

There was an interesting conversation happening on my husband's Facebook friend's page.  A homeschooling dad sharing a great article on raising our children to be independent, critical thinkers with freedom in their learning.  A friend of this friend, whom I'll address as Mr. L, responded very critically.  It was both ignorant and intolerant at the same time.  While spewing "facts" based on his "experience" he had made a stereotypical judgment about the vastly diverse homeschool world.  

Here were a few of his statements:

"I've always been against homeschooling. 99% of the time it's done for far out religious or anti government beliefs. School is less about the work itself, and more to do about social interactions and how to make your way in the world. Throw out the old timers, and show me a top salesman, CEO or sucessful businessman who was homeschooled. You won't find any. Almost every homeschooled kid I knew growing up has the same job: "youth minister". I'm not saying home schooled kids aren't smart, they're just behind the 8 ball when it comes to the real world."  
May 19 at 11:51am

"In the Huffington Post (A counter response given to Mr. L's statements) article I only

found one person, and that was Condi Rice. The rest were either 100 years ago or pro

athletes, and who knows where they would be if they had to rely on brains instead of

athletic talent. And I'm sure everybody knows somebody or two that is the exception,

good for them. But that's a few out of how many million?" 
May 19 at 1:09pm

I'm not saying they're not smart enough, I'm saying most of the time they can't handle doing 

the job in the real world making real money. Getting along with co-workers, having to play

office politics,navigating the world. Most of the time the church is happy to have them there

working for peanuts so they don't give them a hard time

...but out of how many tens of millions of kids who have been homeschooled over the past

20 years or so, do you think there are more hits or misses? For every homeschool kid who

"makes it" there are a few hundred who were homeschooled because they're parents

didn't want the "guv'ment brainwashing their kid" and doomed them to a cycle of failure.

Give me ten thousand kids raised by wolves and I could probably find a dozen that ended

up okay. Does that mean letting wolves raise your kids is a good idea? No.
"  May 19 at

1:41pm

So after shaking my head in shame on Mr. L's behalf of his attitude and responses, I decided to respond.  

Dear Mr. L,

I'm so thankful your public school indoctrination of tolerance is serving you so well in this issue.  It is also interesting to see your knowledge of statistics, propaganda, and forms of logic and reason being used so effectively (hope you are catching on to my sarcasm).  

I am a successful product of the public school sector and proud homeschooling parent.  While I know those who preach "tolerance" tend to be the least tolerant of opinions they disagree with, I hope you will at least see the invalidity of your arguments against homeschooling.

First of all, homeschooling branches history from ancient times to modern.  In America, it has a strong backbone in the founding of our country and many of our early heroes.  However, with the modern institution of the government school system, homeschooling became an abnormal or even illegal form of receiving education.  It wasn't until 1992 that homeschooling was finally recognized as a legal schooling option in all states once again.  One of the reasons to invalidate your "claim" of minimal "successful" adults whom were homeschooled in our current era goes back to the fact that many homeschoolers in our modern age are still coming of age and beginning to make their impact on society.  I would argue that if you look at the span of history, students who are given the freedom to learn and develop in ways that do not put them in the box of the median end up being some of the most impactful and brilliant minds of their era.  

Your argument also breaks down because of your minute definition of "success".  It appears from your statements that in order for one to be heroically successful they must become president, cure a disease, or end a war.  While I note that those positions are successes, you exemplify ignorance to the fact that the backbone of America, the heartbeat of the nation's innovation, and the soul of its ideals often does not inhabit those on the front page of the press.  They are in the small businesses of every town, the boards of every non profit, and reaching the third world with life saving innovation, training, and discipleship.  Success is beyond titles, awards, and letters behind your last name. It is becoming the person you were Designed to be, making the most of every moment, impacting your community with your skills, talents and abilities, being a productive member of society,  and doing it with a humble and compassionate heart. 

Your argument breaks down further with the idea that the government school system breeds great success.  Yes, it can.  I was one of those who fit perfectly in the box designed by the standards and organization.  However, you do not take into account the number of failures the government school system produces.  A better statistic for your mathematical argument would be comparing homeschool and public school numbers of graduation, retention, productivity, and fulfillment.  I'm reminded of the story of Dr. Ben Carson.  The youngest pediatric neurosurgeon at John Hopkins ever.  Innovator.  Life saver.  He took on the cases other doctors thought were hopeless.  Now, you may say, "well, see, another public school success story!".  I would argue that Dr. Carson would have been in the category of public school failures.  As Dr. Carson neared the end of his elementary years, he was self admittedly the worst student in his class.  He was failing everything.  The system was doing nothing to save him.  They did nothing to bring him out of the mire and onto the road of success.  It was his Mother who did.  It was his mother who wouldn't let school be a failure for her sons.  It was in the home that Ben flourished.  By her enforcement of reading library books, writing reports, and staying inside to do homework- Dr. Carson finally made progress and became "successful".  I would venture to say that Dr. Carson would not thank the public school for setting him on the path, but actually thank his mother for what she did at HOME (I've read his books and heard him in person and this was important to his message).  How many other "successes" would actually praise the public school system?  I bet many had a parent, a mentor, a coach, or a single experience that set them on the road to success.  The public school more a means to an end, rather than impactful experience.

Most of what makes the public school has been built on meeting the median need and what was the most accommodating for the administrators and teachers.  (with a BA in elementary education, I know how this works).  Schools were sorted into grade/age levels due to the growing population of students entering one room schoolhouses after the government mandated education for all children.  It was deemed the most feasible to sort children by age, rather than any other way.  It seemed best for the teacher to teach kids who were all the same 'grade' so they didn't have multiple age levels in the same room to work with.  The standards that are required by teachers to teach each grade level are determined by govnerment boards and politicians who often do not have teaching and development backgrounds and have not engaged inside a classroom since their school years.  The corruption of education has seeped from  from the federal level down.

Every homeschool parent comes to the decision for a different reason and in a different way.  So whether the parents decide they don't want to force their child into the box of public school expectations, are tired of interference from people who don't know their child, want to engage their child to be a life-long learner in ways that work best for them, have more intentional influence on their child, or just simply like being with their kids- they are expressing their free right as that child's steward on Earth.

And your ignorant socialization point?  As seen on a blog recently, and I paraphrase, "To call the best form a socialization putting a child in a room with 25 of its same age peers is like saying we should learn table manners from a monkeys"  Do I really want my kids learning respect, kindness, play, and problem solving from kids who are in the same maturity scan of them?  My almost 8 year old is getting more socialization now than she did at public school- and I can guarantee it is higher quality and preparing her more aptly for 'the real world'.  She socializes with her babysitters, her grandparents, her family, the cashier, the dentist, the librarian, her ballet class, her sunday school teacher, her classmates at church, her neighbor friends, and the list goes on.  Compared to the 6-8 hours a day she used to spend sitting at a desk quietly, walking the halls quietly, trying to eat her lunch in 20 minutes or less, and spend countless minutes, perhaps hours, a day 'transitioning', she is actually socializing in a way that makes practical sense.  When adults look to grow in a life area- they don't look to people who are at the same level- they look to those who are older, or wiser, or more experienced to provide advice.

Now all this to say, I'm not an anti-public school.  I have a teaching degree.  I went to public school 2-12th grade.  It works great for many families.  For some it is the only option.  I respect their choice, they have made it freely and have done what is best for their child at that time.  Perhaps even someday we will send our daughters back.  

When you can have a healthy and balanced discourse without spouting from the hip imaginary statistics and practice your brand of 'tolerance' than perhaps we can have a more profitable conversation.

What arguments have you faced in the world of homeschool vs public school.

Intentional Influence at Convention

As previously mentioned, my husband and I recently returned from our first trip to a homeschool convention.  It was a fantastic trip and I cannot rave enough about the uplifting and enriching experience it was.  

One of our reasons for homeschooling our children is to be making strides towards intentional influence- making  the most of life's opportunities to shepherd our children's hearts and minds towards Jesus and as productive members of our society.

As I prepared for convention I planned on going to sessions that would review (I have an elementary education degree so many pedagogical ideas are not completely new to me) or teach me how to engage my girls in math, reading, spelling, and WRITING (still the thorn in our flesh of homeschool at the moment).  

I highlighted sessions that I felt would train me to be the best teacher I could be to my children.  Then my husband encouraged me to look at the bigger picture.  I am their teacher of the three r's, yes, but I am first and foremost their mother.  I am their caretaker.  I have been given charge of these children, on loan from God, to train up in the ways of Him.  That is what the heart of intentional influence is all about after all.

After a disappointing first session on writing strategies, I shifted my strategy towards sessions that attracted me from the standpoint of a mother, wife, or Christ follower.  By enriching those areas of life, I knew that it would surely filter down and affect my role as teacher.  

I am so thankful my husband's wisdom was better than my surface desires.  I was so incredibly blessed by the sessions that engaged my soul, quenched my spiritual thirst, and encouraged my endeavor as a mother.  I know that these sessions while not "academic" in nature will have a profound impact on the environment of our home, our school, and our family's trajectory.

First Homeschool Convention Trip Tips

At the end of April, my husband and I had the wonderful opportunity to attend our first homeschooling convention.  Back in October I heard about Great Homeschool Conventions and found out that in Cincinnati Dr. Ben Carson was going to be speaking.  It was an experience I didn't want to pass up!

While utterly overwhelming at times, our experience was absolutely fantastic.  I highly recommend the GHC to anyone.  It was like a wonderful marriage and parenting conference through the lens of homeschool, though not always the focus.

Here are a few takeaways I wish I had known before my first homeschool convention.

1)  Wear comfortable shoes!  With the massive exhibit hall with concrete floors, walking to food establishments, and even the walk between meeting halls, comfortable shoes are a must.  I tried a cute pair of sandals one morning but quickly went back to my new go to comfy shoes- my Skecher Go Walks.

2)  Wear Comfortable Clothing!  I was not really sure what to wear to an event like this.  While you do have a wide range of clothing from the religious perspective, the general rule of thumb is go comfy and modest.  Sitting in chairs, walking a lot, and changes in temperature from varying rooms requires layers and easy clothing.  I found wearing a modest pair of capris (it was quite warm), nicer plain t, and a scarf were perfect for most areas.

3)  Look more at session leader descriptions instead of session titles:  I preplanned my sessions based more on session titles.  I wish I had paid more attention to the biographies of the speakers as I missed out on some key sessions because I didn't think the title meshed with my purpose.

4)  Look beyond academics.  I went to 1, count it one, purely academic session (and it ended up being my least favorite).  The others were more geared towards parenting and marriage.  I had not planned it that way, but that is what ended up enriching my time the most.  I left empowered, encouraged, and uplifted as a parent and wife which I believe will transcend into my teaching.

5) Be open about Curriculums.  I found that I gleaned a lot from talking to booths of curriculum or programs even if it was just to get a solid "not for me" in my head about the option.  That is just as confidence boosting as a "yes" in my mind.  I also learned about some options to keep in mind for the future when my kids are older or more multi level learning compatible.  I had some fantastic conversations from very passionate people that were enriching (even if I didn't end up being 'sold' on their product)

6)  Schedule breaks.  Sessions are great and can be tempting, but schedule meals, downtime, and even hall shopping or you will find yourself rushed, hungry, and so tired you can't even pay attention to any of the other sessions.

7)  Only buy if you are sure.  So much money could be so quickly spent on all of the wonderful educational and toy materials offered.  Only buy if you are sure you want to use it.  I knew exactly what I wanted for math and kindergarten programs so it made sense to buy to save on shipping costs (some booths offered small convention discounts as well as free shipping).  If you aren't sure on pricing comparison (especially on things like manipulatives) come back after you've done a price check back at your hotel room or on your smart phone.

8)  Bring Your Spouse.  My husband had a fantastic time.  He wasn't too sure about the whole homeschool convention as the idea of learning about writing strategies and building math fact fluency isn't his cup of tea.  We were so blessed to experience some of these great speakers together, talk about how to apply them in our marriage and general parenting, and just spend time together.  The couple sessions we separated were not nearly as fun as the ones we went to together.

9) Ask Others.  Two of our favorite sessions ended up by being referred to the speaker through stranger we met at convention (one eating at a shared table at lunch time in the hall the other in another session).  Use other attenders as resources.  Ask if they had any favorites as you wait in line at the gumbo station or stand on the escalator.  If nothing else, it may help you decide if you want to purchase the cd of the session.

10) Pack Extra Grace.  There will be long lines at lunch time.  There will be busy check out counters at your favorite booths.  There will be pushy sales people.  There will be crying babies in a session you are trying desperately to hear.  There will be packed full meeting rooms.  There will be sugar hyped children wielding swords.  Shower it all with grace.  Empty the expectations of perfection and go forward with the understanding that sometimes things don't always go as planned.  Remember you've had those days as a parent as well.  Grace abound will change your attitude and may make their day.

*Bonus #11, Meeting Dr. Carson and hearing him speak was pretty awesome!

Distractions, Motivation, & Changes

I've heard many homeschooling parents want to quit at some point in November and February.  While I did not have those feelings this fall- I have feelings of failure, discouragement, and apathy in full force the past couple of weeks.  Whether the never ending snow storms and arctic temperatures, rounds of stomach flu and colds, or never ending transitions of childhood development have anything to do with it, I am not sure.  What I do know is that I have allowed distractions and the lack of motivation to deter my desire for the "why" of homeschooling to become less important than the "how's".

We have undergone many curriculum changes over the course of 6 weeks.  I began writing our own reading/writing curriculum based on the Samantha series from American girl which has been much better than any other reading we've done and has replaced the 'bust' of a program in WriteShop.  We began All About Spelling in early January and are doing quite well with it.  Izzy seems to be better at transferring spelling knowledge to her writing and her phonics understanding and ability to 'sound words out' has dramatically improved.  We are wrapping up CLE math 205 light unit and will be working through Horizons for awhile for a change of pace.  We started cursive handwriting.

In all of this curriculum change, our schedule has been uprooted and required changes that I'm still trying to catch up with.  Lucy, 14 months, has transitioned to 1 nap a day and is quite the explorer and destroyer when awake.  Therefore, most of our teacher intensive activities have to happen between 12:30 and 3:00 pm.  This is Izzy's least favorite time to do school.  I currently work for my husband 2 afternoons a week, so this has forced school to happen in the mornings while juggling a four year old and a very busy toddler.  At the point of exhaustion and exasperation I fight to just get the 'basics' done which has led to very little in the fun department (like art, experiments, etc).  And, embarrassingly, this has led to Bible being put not he back burner.  I wanted Bible lessons to be our priority- but the girls love doing crafts to go along with each lesson and I just don't know how to fit it all in.  Liliana has had to turn to the iPad to do learning games with her as I desperately seek time to teach Izzy new concepts.

All of these distractions and changes have caused Izzy's motivation (and my own I think) to slip, stating for the first time since we started this journey that she wants to return to public school.

My confidence is gone.  My enthusiasm dwindling.  And my intention for intentional influence on the lives of my girls seems to have evaporated.  But, I am not giving up.  With God's help we will work through this bump in the road and figure out what is best for our family, for the time being.  Every season of life will change the look of how we do school- I just need to keep the "why" as the filter for each decision.

I am hoping that verbalizing these frustrations and desires will help me set goals anew and finish the year strong.  Couple that with fresh new curriculum and perhaps our motivations will change and distractions minimized.

Some days look like this....

While others play out like this.

A Late Fall of "Field Trips"

Once November hit in our house, it was a season of day to day survival.  Many of our 'extra' projects and fun crafts went out the window.  We worked hard on doubling up on lessons some days since many days would not have anything at all.  While December was filled with the typical holiday rush, we also add a birthday 12 days before and 5 days after Christmas.  Really.  Its like one big, never-ending party.  Despite the hustle and bustle and the desire to keep some sense of structure and learning- we made room for some experiences that simply cannot be replicated in a classroom or by reading a book.  One of the reasons we decided to homeschool was to be able to freely say 'yes' to opportunities like this.

In early November, Isabelle had the opportunity to travel to Bangladesh to visit a children's home we have supported for many years which in turn allowed her to interact with 420 children and meet our three children whom we sponsor.  She went with her daddy, grandma, grandpa, a great aunt, a second cousin, an uncle, and a cousin who is about her age.  From the 24hrs+ of travel, new foods, new language, the heat, 11 hour time difference, and the flurry of that many children wanting to touch your pale skin and play with your blonde hair- it was quite the experience!  For our timid observer it was a stretch for her personality, but she did well after acclimating a couple of days.  She served the children meals, helped teach a song in chapel, danced Bangla, went to 'school' and learn some bangla words and writings, delivered gifts to sponsor children, played games of uno and double dutch, was the ultimate playmate, little sister, and even big sister to the children.  She showed God's love with a child like faith to the 'least of these'.  Her dad and I are so proud of how she handled herself and are so thankful she could take advantage of the opportunity.

In true 'homeschooling fashion' I had her journal while she was away.  Then, when she returned, we compiled her 5 favorite memories and wrote them in newspaper article form (It just so happened that our next unit in WriteShop was on newspaper narratives!).  It was a great way for her to process what she had done and seen and give her a chance to contemplate the 'why's' and feelings of it all.  It also gave me an opportunity to hear about what they did.

We squeezed in some good schooling in late November before Thanksgiving, but then early December we were off on a vacation with extended family.  18 travelers in all, including 8 kids under 10 and an 84 year old great grandma.  While I was tempted to do journalling or keep my eyes open for great learning opportunities, I decided that this field trip needed to be about just enjoying each other.  We watched our girls play in the sand, go down the watersides, and swim in the pools.  By being free to encourage and get excited with one another, Izzy finally warmed up to the idea of swimming independently.  We had done swim lessons in the summer which did not go over well (screaming and gnashing of teeth would be an understatement) but she was capable.  In her own time, she finally did it, swam across the pool, and was on her way.  By the end of the trip she was doing cannonballs and triple somersaults underwater in one breath.

What did I learn from all this?  Sometimes homeschooling adventures are about lifelong behaviors and reaching the heart of the children.  Sometimes it should just be about being.  Being 100% present as parents and cheerleaders and let kids just be kids.  Learning is still happening- sometimes more is gained when I stay out of the way.  Perhaps times of intentional 'absence' as a 'teacher' are the most influential.

I'm linked up at the Hip Homeschool Hop this week!  Check out the other great posts!