Response to Mr. L

There was an interesting conversation happening on my husband's Facebook friend's page.  A homeschooling dad sharing a great article on raising our children to be independent, critical thinkers with freedom in their learning.  A friend of this friend, whom I'll address as Mr. L, responded very critically.  It was both ignorant and intolerant at the same time.  While spewing "facts" based on his "experience" he had made a stereotypical judgment about the vastly diverse homeschool world.  

Here were a few of his statements:

"I've always been against homeschooling. 99% of the time it's done for far out religious or anti government beliefs. School is less about the work itself, and more to do about social interactions and how to make your way in the world. Throw out the old timers, and show me a top salesman, CEO or sucessful businessman who was homeschooled. You won't find any. Almost every homeschooled kid I knew growing up has the same job: "youth minister". I'm not saying home schooled kids aren't smart, they're just behind the 8 ball when it comes to the real world."  
May 19 at 11:51am

"In the Huffington Post (A counter response given to Mr. L's statements) article I only

found one person, and that was Condi Rice. The rest were either 100 years ago or pro

athletes, and who knows where they would be if they had to rely on brains instead of

athletic talent. And I'm sure everybody knows somebody or two that is the exception,

good for them. But that's a few out of how many million?" 
May 19 at 1:09pm

I'm not saying they're not smart enough, I'm saying most of the time they can't handle doing 

the job in the real world making real money. Getting along with co-workers, having to play

office politics,navigating the world. Most of the time the church is happy to have them there

working for peanuts so they don't give them a hard time

...but out of how many tens of millions of kids who have been homeschooled over the past

20 years or so, do you think there are more hits or misses? For every homeschool kid who

"makes it" there are a few hundred who were homeschooled because they're parents

didn't want the "guv'ment brainwashing their kid" and doomed them to a cycle of failure.

Give me ten thousand kids raised by wolves and I could probably find a dozen that ended

up okay. Does that mean letting wolves raise your kids is a good idea? No.
"  May 19 at

1:41pm

So after shaking my head in shame on Mr. L's behalf of his attitude and responses, I decided to respond.  

Dear Mr. L,

I'm so thankful your public school indoctrination of tolerance is serving you so well in this issue.  It is also interesting to see your knowledge of statistics, propaganda, and forms of logic and reason being used so effectively (hope you are catching on to my sarcasm).  

I am a successful product of the public school sector and proud homeschooling parent.  While I know those who preach "tolerance" tend to be the least tolerant of opinions they disagree with, I hope you will at least see the invalidity of your arguments against homeschooling.

First of all, homeschooling branches history from ancient times to modern.  In America, it has a strong backbone in the founding of our country and many of our early heroes.  However, with the modern institution of the government school system, homeschooling became an abnormal or even illegal form of receiving education.  It wasn't until 1992 that homeschooling was finally recognized as a legal schooling option in all states once again.  One of the reasons to invalidate your "claim" of minimal "successful" adults whom were homeschooled in our current era goes back to the fact that many homeschoolers in our modern age are still coming of age and beginning to make their impact on society.  I would argue that if you look at the span of history, students who are given the freedom to learn and develop in ways that do not put them in the box of the median end up being some of the most impactful and brilliant minds of their era.  

Your argument also breaks down because of your minute definition of "success".  It appears from your statements that in order for one to be heroically successful they must become president, cure a disease, or end a war.  While I note that those positions are successes, you exemplify ignorance to the fact that the backbone of America, the heartbeat of the nation's innovation, and the soul of its ideals often does not inhabit those on the front page of the press.  They are in the small businesses of every town, the boards of every non profit, and reaching the third world with life saving innovation, training, and discipleship.  Success is beyond titles, awards, and letters behind your last name. It is becoming the person you were Designed to be, making the most of every moment, impacting your community with your skills, talents and abilities, being a productive member of society,  and doing it with a humble and compassionate heart. 

Your argument breaks down further with the idea that the government school system breeds great success.  Yes, it can.  I was one of those who fit perfectly in the box designed by the standards and organization.  However, you do not take into account the number of failures the government school system produces.  A better statistic for your mathematical argument would be comparing homeschool and public school numbers of graduation, retention, productivity, and fulfillment.  I'm reminded of the story of Dr. Ben Carson.  The youngest pediatric neurosurgeon at John Hopkins ever.  Innovator.  Life saver.  He took on the cases other doctors thought were hopeless.  Now, you may say, "well, see, another public school success story!".  I would argue that Dr. Carson would have been in the category of public school failures.  As Dr. Carson neared the end of his elementary years, he was self admittedly the worst student in his class.  He was failing everything.  The system was doing nothing to save him.  They did nothing to bring him out of the mire and onto the road of success.  It was his Mother who did.  It was his mother who wouldn't let school be a failure for her sons.  It was in the home that Ben flourished.  By her enforcement of reading library books, writing reports, and staying inside to do homework- Dr. Carson finally made progress and became "successful".  I would venture to say that Dr. Carson would not thank the public school for setting him on the path, but actually thank his mother for what she did at HOME (I've read his books and heard him in person and this was important to his message).  How many other "successes" would actually praise the public school system?  I bet many had a parent, a mentor, a coach, or a single experience that set them on the road to success.  The public school more a means to an end, rather than impactful experience.

Most of what makes the public school has been built on meeting the median need and what was the most accommodating for the administrators and teachers.  (with a BA in elementary education, I know how this works).  Schools were sorted into grade/age levels due to the growing population of students entering one room schoolhouses after the government mandated education for all children.  It was deemed the most feasible to sort children by age, rather than any other way.  It seemed best for the teacher to teach kids who were all the same 'grade' so they didn't have multiple age levels in the same room to work with.  The standards that are required by teachers to teach each grade level are determined by govnerment boards and politicians who often do not have teaching and development backgrounds and have not engaged inside a classroom since their school years.  The corruption of education has seeped from  from the federal level down.

Every homeschool parent comes to the decision for a different reason and in a different way.  So whether the parents decide they don't want to force their child into the box of public school expectations, are tired of interference from people who don't know their child, want to engage their child to be a life-long learner in ways that work best for them, have more intentional influence on their child, or just simply like being with their kids- they are expressing their free right as that child's steward on Earth.

And your ignorant socialization point?  As seen on a blog recently, and I paraphrase, "To call the best form a socialization putting a child in a room with 25 of its same age peers is like saying we should learn table manners from a monkeys"  Do I really want my kids learning respect, kindness, play, and problem solving from kids who are in the same maturity scan of them?  My almost 8 year old is getting more socialization now than she did at public school- and I can guarantee it is higher quality and preparing her more aptly for 'the real world'.  She socializes with her babysitters, her grandparents, her family, the cashier, the dentist, the librarian, her ballet class, her sunday school teacher, her classmates at church, her neighbor friends, and the list goes on.  Compared to the 6-8 hours a day she used to spend sitting at a desk quietly, walking the halls quietly, trying to eat her lunch in 20 minutes or less, and spend countless minutes, perhaps hours, a day 'transitioning', she is actually socializing in a way that makes practical sense.  When adults look to grow in a life area- they don't look to people who are at the same level- they look to those who are older, or wiser, or more experienced to provide advice.

Now all this to say, I'm not an anti-public school.  I have a teaching degree.  I went to public school 2-12th grade.  It works great for many families.  For some it is the only option.  I respect their choice, they have made it freely and have done what is best for their child at that time.  Perhaps even someday we will send our daughters back.  

When you can have a healthy and balanced discourse without spouting from the hip imaginary statistics and practice your brand of 'tolerance' than perhaps we can have a more profitable conversation.

What arguments have you faced in the world of homeschool vs public school.

Distractions, Motivation, & Changes

I've heard many homeschooling parents want to quit at some point in November and February.  While I did not have those feelings this fall- I have feelings of failure, discouragement, and apathy in full force the past couple of weeks.  Whether the never ending snow storms and arctic temperatures, rounds of stomach flu and colds, or never ending transitions of childhood development have anything to do with it, I am not sure.  What I do know is that I have allowed distractions and the lack of motivation to deter my desire for the "why" of homeschooling to become less important than the "how's".

We have undergone many curriculum changes over the course of 6 weeks.  I began writing our own reading/writing curriculum based on the Samantha series from American girl which has been much better than any other reading we've done and has replaced the 'bust' of a program in WriteShop.  We began All About Spelling in early January and are doing quite well with it.  Izzy seems to be better at transferring spelling knowledge to her writing and her phonics understanding and ability to 'sound words out' has dramatically improved.  We are wrapping up CLE math 205 light unit and will be working through Horizons for awhile for a change of pace.  We started cursive handwriting.

In all of this curriculum change, our schedule has been uprooted and required changes that I'm still trying to catch up with.  Lucy, 14 months, has transitioned to 1 nap a day and is quite the explorer and destroyer when awake.  Therefore, most of our teacher intensive activities have to happen between 12:30 and 3:00 pm.  This is Izzy's least favorite time to do school.  I currently work for my husband 2 afternoons a week, so this has forced school to happen in the mornings while juggling a four year old and a very busy toddler.  At the point of exhaustion and exasperation I fight to just get the 'basics' done which has led to very little in the fun department (like art, experiments, etc).  And, embarrassingly, this has led to Bible being put not he back burner.  I wanted Bible lessons to be our priority- but the girls love doing crafts to go along with each lesson and I just don't know how to fit it all in.  Liliana has had to turn to the iPad to do learning games with her as I desperately seek time to teach Izzy new concepts.

All of these distractions and changes have caused Izzy's motivation (and my own I think) to slip, stating for the first time since we started this journey that she wants to return to public school.

My confidence is gone.  My enthusiasm dwindling.  And my intention for intentional influence on the lives of my girls seems to have evaporated.  But, I am not giving up.  With God's help we will work through this bump in the road and figure out what is best for our family, for the time being.  Every season of life will change the look of how we do school- I just need to keep the "why" as the filter for each decision.

I am hoping that verbalizing these frustrations and desires will help me set goals anew and finish the year strong.  Couple that with fresh new curriculum and perhaps our motivations will change and distractions minimized.

Some days look like this....

While others play out like this.

I'm not a supermom

I'm not a supermom.  Nor am I any version of a superwoman.  

I have my strengths, but many more weaknesses.  

I do things well some days.  Many days play out like some comedy of errors.

In my introductions to new circles of women and seeing some old faces though upstart of fall activities, I have found that my revelation that we are now a "homeschooling family" (can I be honest I feel weird saying that, like we are some freak of nature...need new description stat!) has brought about two very common reactions:

1)  "Oh, I could never do that!"

and

2)  "Wow, you are like superwoman!  How do you do it all?"

While not surprising statements, they still stir plenty of emotions.  

First of all, moms- don't sell yourself short.  You are strong.  You love fiercely.  If it NEEDED to be done, you would be able to do it.  It may not look pinterest worthy and it may not be within your skills set, but if I know anything about Moms is that they would do ANYTHING for their kids.  If your child needed to be learning at home, you would find a way to make it happen.  Don't sell yourself short.

Second, I'm not superwoman. I'm just being obedient.  I honestly believe that when we choose to live in obedience to God's calling, He will equip us accordingly.  God is not known for reckless abandonment.  He did not leave Elijah in the wilderness alone.  He did not ignore Moses' plea for help in public speaking.  He did not ignore the heart of Mary Magdalene.  He forgave Peter.  He refined Saul into a Paul.  God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.  When we choose to live in obedience to what He is asking us to do, He will provide a way to make it happen.  I am not a superwoman.  I make mistakes.  I don't always have the right priorities for each day.  I get angry.  I am selfish at times.  But, oh how thankful I am, that God is able and willing and DESIRES to still use me.  He has asked me to do this, for this season.  He will not abandon me and will equip me as long as I remain in obedience.  And he will equip you.  Whether he has called you to work, stay at home, homeschool, volunteer, or a combination of many lifestyles; all you must do is be obedient and he will equip you.  God will lead you to the right decision for your family and give you the strength and skills needed to fulfill his purpose for you.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Philippians 2:13
"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."

1 Thessalonians 5:24
"...The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it."

Hebrews 13:20-21
"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep,  equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

Goals

Last week was not a great one when it comes to schooling.  Too many things got sandwiched in our schedule and threw our momentum off.  Lucy didn't nap well.  Lili didn't want to do school with us, and didn't seem to like the fact that Izzy needed my attention for some learning time.  The house was quite unkept.  Dinners haphazard.  I scratched my cornea and spent a good day and a half teary eyed, in pain, and half blind.  But, despite 'failures' there were a lot of successes.  We had fun, we spent time together, I modeled baby care taking, I baked with my children (this is hard for me to do! I like to control my kitchen!), we spent time outside, and Izzy finally learned to ride a bike (she has had a very real, yet irrational fear of bikes all her life and lacked coordination- so we thought- to pedal.  All the sudden she just hopped on and now its hard to get her off!)

I'm hoping to have some of the same successes as we live life together as a family this week, but perhaps with a little more intentionality in a few areas.  I'm also making a few curriculum adjustments.  So, I'm writing down a few goals.  I'm told it makes it more real that way!

1)  Read more.  Silent reading time, me reading aloud, whatever it takes.  We need to have more reading time.

2)  Less phonics.  I know there are different camps out there of phonics vs sight reading.  We have tried some in depth phonics work and its not going well and I'm not finding it helpful to the overall experience.  So, we are skipping those portions and most assessments in our CLE reading.

3) More comprehension building activities.  Izzy reads well, above grade level.  However, she often sees the trees and not the forest when it comes to comprehension.  We are going to do frequent small 2-4 paragraph reads with a few quick comprehension questions to build this skill.

4) Intentional time with Lili and Lucy while Izzy works independently.  They need it.  Izzy needs to learn to be more independent in her learning.  It will do wonders for everyone.

5)  Have Izzy plan some 'spirit week' fun days for the coming month to keep it fun and exciting around here (one thing she misses about public school)

6)  Intentional evening time.  I don't want to stop being mom and teacher after dinner just because I'm tired.  I want to be intentional of how we can be spending that time together instead of always shuffling them to play areas by themselves while I crash on the couch.


Here's to a wonderful, blessed, God-honoring, intentional week!

When Doubts Creep In

While we are confident in our decision to homeschool for the upcoming school year and feel at peace with the "why's" of our choice, it is inevitable for doubts to creep in.  Here have been my doubts as we have travelled this journey.

• I often 'fail' at motherhood, how can I be a good mom and a good teacher at the same time?
• What if I don't like it?
• What if the girls don't like it?
• What if it makes the girls bicker more instead of less?
• What if homeschooling puts Izzy behind her peers academically?
• My kids won't turn out weird, right?

For the most part, I have been able to have peace to get past the attacks of the "what ifs?" on the doubt list.  Taking each day, week, and year as it comes allows for an open invitation for God to lead us into the best educational decision for our family.

It's the first one I still struggle with often as we approach our 'start' day for homeschooling.  I don't have pinterest worthy projects lined up.  My house is a minefield of toys and crumbs.  My children are not bathed as regularly as they should be.  I hate craft time and do not enjoy having my kids bake with me.  But, in the end, I'm a good mom.  My kids are fed, clothed, and loved.  

I love teaching.  But if I 'fail' so much at motherhood, how can I possibly be a good mom and a good teacher at the same time.  Will I be able to distinguish between the two roles?  Should there be a distinction?

As we travel this journey, I anticipate daily struggles and doubts.  Thankfully, I have the Master Teacher on my side.  God has directed our path to this moment, and will continue to do so.  No matter what doubts I have, God is greater than all of them.  If I am willing to listen, He will be faithful to put the pieces into place.  He will give confidence, skills, and ability to be successful in this journey.

Give ear, and hear my voice;

give attention, and hear my speech.

Does he who plows for sowing plow continually?

Does he continually open and harrow his ground?

When he has leveled its surface,

does he not scatter dill, sow cumin,

       and put in wheat in rows

and barley in its proper place,

and emmer as the border?

For he is rightly instructed;

his God teaches him.

-Isaiah 28:23-26

Why Homeschool? Part 4

The previous 3 parts of sharing why we have chosen homeschool for at least the next year were desired outcomes we are running towards.  We believe that with those end goals in mind, homeschool will give us the highest probability if getting there.

Part 4 is a little different because it focuses on more of something we are looking to avoid rather than attain.  We are not running out of fear, but stepping away due to concern.  While not all of the details are fully known, and some of the items I'll discuss are plausible results of decisions being made now, we have decided to be pro-active for the time being for the best of our family.

Why have we chosen homeschooling?  The increasing role of the federal government in education through Common Core State Standards.

We Believe:

• Public Schools are the responsibility of the local government, locally elected officials, and partnerships between teachers and parents to decide what and how best to teach the children of the community.
• "How" usually precedes the ability to understand "Why" especially in math at the elementary level.
• Worldview and political issues do not belong in most classroom environments (especially at the elementary level)
• Standardized Testing is inadequate, unfair, and one dimensional in its evaluation of students, teachers, and schools.

The New Common Core State Standards (CCSS):

• Were developed primarily by politicians, lobbyists, curriculum developers, and testing services.
• Were not actually developed by the States.
• Are falsely advertised as voluntary as the Federal Government as linked qualification to grant money to one's participation in CCSS.
• Decreased emphasis on mastery of skills to conceptual thinking which leads to downgraded standards but raised expectations on standardized testing.
• Focus on the "Why" rather than the "How" (example- a student should understand why 2+2= 4 before they learn that 2+2=4)
• Require 'broad' worldview that must include things like the liberal definition of marriage, climate change, and evolution but cannot include items deemed Christian in viewpoint.
• Equates public opinion articles and government papers on the same level as time proven classic literature.
• Takes away local control of education and puts it onto path for a national school system:  Federally mandated core standards ---> decreased curricula choices ---> limited approved pedagogy (how a concept is taught) ---> National Education System
• Zaps teacher creativity and freedom
• Will lead to government dependency
• May destroy ingenuity and entrepreneurial vision
• Track students preschool-grade 12 in a massive database system accessible to all government agencies with data points such as blood type, religious affiliation, dental records, voting record, detailed transportation data, behavior, diseases and health history, and home status.
• Place students early on into 'tracks' for vocational training, college prep, etc.  Dreams, desires, freedoms of children will be squashed before they can even be old enough to drive a car.
• Force hand of private institutions to change curricula despite beliefs to maintain accreditation and and align with national testing

I will be the first to admit that a lot of these details are still sketchy as CCSS has yet to see full implementation, but the patterns are in place and the expressed desire of this government administration is well known to be on the side of 'big government'.  So, we are being pro active and taking a step out of the public school system for the time being.  Perhaps these root problems will be worked out and we feel that it is once again the right choice for our family to be in the public school system.

For some great information on CCSS (and the sources for my post):
Michelle Malkin has been doing great work on researching CCSS

Common Core Math Issues

Truth in American Education

The Federal Government Stepping into Schools

CCSS Not State Led

CCSS Testing

Problems waiting to happen

Why Homeschool? Part 1

In an earlier post I mentioned how the plethora of good options made the decision to homeschool for the 2013-2014 school year a hard one.  I'd like to explain our reasons for making this decision, but first a disclaimer.  Every family has to make their own decision of what works best for them.  Our reasons may not be other's reasons to choose homeschooling.  There are great reasons to send children to public or private schools.  We have people in our sphere of influence who advocate for a variety of school options.  I respect each family's privilege to choose the educational path that works best for them.  I'm also aware that while we are making this decision for this coming year, we may change our minds.  My goal is to share our hearts where they are at now, not predicting where they might be in 2,5,10 years.

So, why homeschool?

#1- Intentional Influence

#2- Biblical Command

#3- Reaching Potential

#4- Common Core and the Federal Government

I'll write a little post on each of these eventually, but today I'll touch on #1.

About 10-12 months ago, I felt that God was leading me to a word that would transform every facet of my life.  The word was INTENTIONAL.  Perhaps He was trying to correct my lack of household organization, teaching me to not fly by the seat of my pants so much, or to simply be more on purpose with where He has me on each day.  It has seemed that ever since that word was brought to mind, the word has creeped into other aspects.  A recent parenting book (perhaps the best I've read) called Intentional Parenting offered great insight of what it meant to avoid auto-pilot as a mom, wife, and child of God.  My husband and I planned our vacations and times away with goals in mind so that activities, choices, and decisions would help us reach our desired outcome.

When it came to our schooling decision, God began to work on my heart on how I had the responsibility as my kids mother to be the primary influence in their lives (along with Daddy!).  If you look at the sheer math, we get very little time with our school aged children.  In reality, a handful of adults I barely know along with a room of 20 peers I know even less become the primary influence in my child's life.  I was becoming tired of getting her 'leftovers'.  She would leave our home each morning with a bounce in her step at 8 am.  She would come home tired and drained at almost 4pm.  Then, there was the hour or so of homework each night that we would have to try to do together (uphill battle for a 6 year old who just wanted to play with her sister!).  By 8 pm she was back in bed.  Weekends were helpful, but often she would still be playing 'catch up' from the week.  I want to enjoy my child at her best, not feel discouraged by dealing with her worst.  I know if I had a friend who only saw me from 4-6pm everyday they would think I'm pretty tired, cranky, and lack clean shirts!  It would be a very one dimensional view of who I was. 

In the end, Paul and I want to be the primary influence in our children's life.  We want to enjoy our kids at their best.  We want to discover who they are and who God may be forming them to be.  We don't want a school system dictating so many aspects of our life.  We want to be intentional and we feel that in order to have the highest probability for success, we should educate our children at home.

"Whether he is a mystery or more familiar, our job is to become a student- to seek to understand the work that God began and is faithfully completing in the lives of our children. Our job is to steward that, not change it." p. 18 of Intentional Parenting

And so it begins...

Yesterday was the last day of school, not only for our recent 1st grade graduate, but also our last day of public school for the foreseeable future.  Today begins our newest venture- homeschooling.  I decided to start this new blog to chronicle our journey for many reasons.

1) When the going gets tough (and I know there will be bad days) I want to remind myself of WHY we chose this adventure for our family.

2) Perhaps help someone else who is thinking about making the jump to homeschool from public school.  Hopefully they will be able to learn from my mistakes and be encouraged by our (hopeful) successes.

3)  To bring a 'real' example of homeschool to others.  I've been discouraged by the posts and websites of other homeschool moms who look like they have it all together in that perfect pinterest way.  I feel so inadequate to try to 'match' what they have done.  Hopefully my honesty of the highs and lows will encourage other homeschool families.

4)  To chart my growth over time as a wife, mom, teacher, and daughter of the King.  I anticipate God to do a mighty work in our family as we journey to be more intentional as parents, spouses, and a family.

Over the next week or two I will begin outlining our reasons for homeschooling and the decisions we've made thus far.  I hope you join us on this journey.  We will need encouragement, advice, and prayers as we open our hearts and home to more intentional influence through homeschooling.